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About 

Your vision will become clear only when you can look into your own heart. Who looks outside, dreams; Who looks inside, awakens. -  Carl Jung


In an attempt to attain greater autonomy of Self,  it's not uncommon that we find ourselves going down rabbit holes to access a deeper Truth of who and what we are. We may also see people so enmeshed in their physical world that they negate the mental, emotional, and spiritual aspects of the Self. And, on the contrary, we might see individuals so removed from this physical world that they neglect the body and the purpose of their human existence.

In the words of Adi Shankara, “Knowing that I am different from the body, I need not neglect the body. It is a vehicle that I use to transact with the world. It is the temple which houses the Pure Self within.” AYAM Hypnosis acknowledges that improving upon ALL aspects of the Self is necessary to achieve the best human condition and also an integral process in evolving the Soul. 

 

We can't ignore that the mind and body share a symbiotic relationship. The two must be on one accord to achieve mind-body equilibrium. Looking at the layers of Self, this practice focuses on bringing balance to regions of disharmony with the object of feeling 'One' or 'Whole'.

Thus, we understand the importance of taking an overall Holistic approach when it comes to healing, integrating modalities that not only affect positive change in the Mind but in the Body and Soul as well. With fear being a major proponent and obstacle in many peoples’ lives, it’s one of the common things which prevents many from achieving their biggest goals and aspirations.

 

Furthermore, it even prevents them from challenging the current distortions surrounding their reality and what they are truly capable of. We give clients the courage to venture out of the multi-layers of comfort that many find too difficult to consciously do when subconscious uncertainties seem too overwhelmingly intimidating to overcome.

 

So, what kind of life are you seeking to experience? 

There seems to be an invisible limitation when it comes to having the life one desires. The object of why people never seem to quite have that fulfillment of their dreams isn't due to the fact that they aim high and miss but because they aim too low and succeed. How little do we think of ourselves? 

 

I want you to take a moment and have faith that anything is possible. What kind of life do you desire to have? 

I can't tell you what life is as everyone's answer will be slightly or starkly different. What I can tell you is that life takes the form of your perception. I hope to help you expand that perception and the scope of your reality to the extent that you don't just have faith in infinite possibility, but you know that anything is possible. 

Once a person has a higher perception of Self, they can do the unlimited and reach heights once considered unattainable and dimensions once unseen.

 

Your life and the aspirations you hold for your life are based on your perception of reality. And, Reality is more than meets the eye. Once your perception of reality changes, so too will your life.  
 

What if you slept? And what if, in your sleep, you dreamed? And what if in your dream you went to heaven and there plucked a beautiful flower? And what if, when you awoke, you had the flower in your hand? 

Samuel Taylor Coleridge 

"Stagnation"

The Antagonist of Evolution

What's to be said in regard to much of our suffering is that it comes from fear. And, this fear we experience derives from ignorance. For a long time, I was a believer in the famous adage, "Ignorance is bliss." This was until I saw the inaccuracies in this statement when applied to real life. Is the less you know always better? I'm a believer that the solution to any problem is new information. However, in a world that can be so divisive and tribal, some of us are almost destined to be anything but freethinkers from the very conception of our lives. So, where exactly does this leave us? We are left seeking solutions to problems whose origins we know very little to nothing about, many times, rendering our trust to individuals who know just as little as we do when it comes to seeking resolution.

 

And, attempts at relief from this suffering almost seem like shots in the dark where things can be a hit or a miss. Sometimes, these misses can feel like missteps jeopardizing whatever little or large progress we've made along the way. It is then not uncommon to feel like stability and peace are fleeting ideas that were just put in front of us to tease us with something we can't have. However, no matter how hard the journey or however much we endure, that is a lie.

When our lives are being wagered, is ignorance bliss? Being in the dark only serves you when knowing the truth is too painful. However, the pain just like any emotion can be temporary or you can allow it to linger. Not to know is bad, but not to wish to know is worse. I can assure you that knowing the truth will always be necessary if you truly seek Freedom. But, the first and every step will always be one of courage and even Faith that there is an answer to every question - a solution to every problem.

It starts with YOU knowing where you are and knowing where you want to be. 

How can true freedom exist when a person isn't aware of what it is? As with dogs who are trained to stay near their owner using a leash, collar, and commands - eventually, none of these things are needed for the dog to obediently sit by its owner's side. We can see the beauty in the loyalty of such wonderful animals - how quick they are to answer the calls of their owner when they stray too far. But, it's also fair to note the misfortune of ignorance especially when the submission is given to an owner who doesn't respect his faithful companion. In such an instance, are we much different? We have all been conditioned and a lot of the underlying conditioning is rudimentary in fear. Fear is our leash. Fear is our collar. And, sometimes, fear is even used whether overtly or covertly to command us to do things against our best interest. When we stray from the fear that controls us, it is the internal command of fear conditioned in us that calls us back to it. When the fear is so great, we may desire to remain oblivious. Though, being oblivious or not, causality is still a very real thing that is subject to affect us. 

But, how can we break these conditions embedded in the subconscious mind? Being informed helps you to better navigate situations. You are better equipped with the inner resources to manage difficult situations in life and you also have the external resources to assist you in navigating this human experience much more smoothly. The idea is that you have the Free Will to choose the way your life goes. But, first - you must deviate. 

There are a lot of negative connotations surrounding the words 'deviant' and 'disobedience'. It's vital to be weary of those you follow because nothing is worse than being obedient to a false teacher. And, this isn't anything new. Throughout the ages, there have been many self-proclaimed prophets, gurus, teachers, masters, scholars and doctors who were highly esteemed by those of their time, some still upheld today. However, their 'knowledge' wasn't knowledge but misinformation. Knowledge is knowing. And, in the words of someone dear, 'Faith is merely the bridge to Knowing.' If you are a seeker as many are at heart, I can assure you that I will not show you anything, but I will help you see for yourself that which is already within. In taking this first step, I ask you to suspend your disbelief

I understand that doing so may present a subset of different challenges. However, I also ask that you have faith and an open mind as we work through releasing the chains that restrict you from experiencing free thought.

 

Unblock your mind, unblock your mind. Throw off the fear, and let us fly. - Heather Nova

Concrete Architecture

About Me

It all started when I found myself outside of my body 

 

Trials have always been a very real factor throughout all of human existence. I personally believe that "trials" are a rite of passage when it comes to refining who we are and how we see the world around us. However, when maneuvering through these kinds of things, there's usually a 50/50 chance of experiencing a breakthrough or a breakdown. Breakdowns tend to lead us in a cycle of reexperiencing habits, behaviors, and relationships that create stressful situations and a life riddled with suffering. If you've found yourself reading this now, congratulations on continuing to seek solutions. The things that happen to us in life give us opportunities to refine the way we look at the world. And, that summates much of my experience in life amidst the traumas and depression many of us have had the fortune of enduring. 

As a kid, I was blessed with the gift of seeing a functional family and felt cursed with the complete opposite as I saw parental fights that ultimately led to having to move around quite a bit. It's true in some cases that you don't know what you have until it's gone. And, in the same respect, you can't really miss what you've never had. Having seen what a healthy family looked like and then not having that as a part of my conception of reality anymore was very disorienting for my child self's mind to comprehend. The constant moving from home to home and school to school created a subconscious expectation that the proverbial 'rug' would be pulled from underneath me at any time. So, when things were "good", there was always a looming fear that it wouldn't last for long or that "good" feelings were too good to be true. 

Along with this expectation came something not so identifiable but definitely life-altering. One afternoon, I woke up and sat in my bed. I looked down at my legs to see the length of my legs appeared longer, but it wasn't as if I grew a few centimeters. My entire depth perception was distorted. This occurred as I looked at my arms as well. As I scrutinized different parts of my body, I was coming to the realization that these limbs were not my own. This shift was so apparent and shocking that I even went to my mother to tell her how I didn't feel right in my body anymore. Of course, she didn't know what to make of it. 

Years passed and I developed an even greater depression because I didn't feel 'normal', but I didn't know what exactly was 'wrong' with me. Going from therapist to therapist served its purpose. However, this didn't help much either as I felt stigmatized throughout the process of desperately seeking help. I recall one therapist who would just provide me with a selection of different anti-depressants, many of which exacerbated my depression and suicidality. Each session with this therapist consisted of her asking me about the new medication I happened to be taking at the time and her lackluster attempts at teaching me how to knit. 

Needless to say, I stopped seeing that therapist. Then, there was another therapist who was immensely passionate about his work - so passionate that he would cry in almost all of my sessions. Although his intentions were in the right place, his approach to therapy didn't quite hit the mark. He believed that the solution to my depression would be to dance and he would constantly insist that I dance with his daughters at the local African Dance Center. And, well- needless to say, generally the last thing a person wants to do when they're depressed or suicidal is to perform at a dance center. 

I wish this was a 'third time's the charm' case. 

However, I can assure you I had gone to an additional 2 therapists at least before finding the one I will call my Oracle. I don't call her that because she did sessions out of her kitchen. I found this therapist on a whim just as I was incredibly discouraged in getting therapy at this point and contemplating an alternative.

In one of our first sessions, she poured out crayons on a table and told me to draw how I envision myself.

 

At this point, I figured this was better than crocheting.

I remember drawing the Earth with me on top of it holding hands with children. Under the Earth was another aspect of me doing the same thing but the children and I were in 'spirit form'. While discussing the picture, we spoke a bit about spirituality and I was asked how I felt. Here are a few words I recall sharing: 'disconnected', 'unreal', 'absent', 'detached', and 'robotic'. The therapist went on to share some additional words which all hit the target. It was revealed to me that what I had described had a name called Dissociation

With Dissociation, I was told there are two types. Depersonalization is when you feel as though you aren't real. Derealization is when you feel like no one and nothing around you is real. I identified with both. And, as paradoxical as it sounds, it was relieving to finally identify with something that feels very unidentifiable.  For years, I struggled with my identity in the most existential way - I didn't believe I existed or was even alive. That is how disconnected I felt and how severe the effects of trauma can be where it's not uncommon to just "check out" of the body.

However, when I was given an actual name for what I was experiencing, it was like I was starting to regain the sensation of being alive again. Almost immediately, much of the depression faded away as the stigma dissipated almost immediately after being given an understanding of what I was  experiencing. 

Towards the end of one of our first sessions, she had written something on a paper, folded it, and slid it to me across the table. With all the discretion, I truly thought the woman was writing her social security number down. However, opening the paper, there was written something even more important - "Know Thyself". At the moment, I admit I undermined the importance of these two words. However, as the years passed, I began to understand the depth of those words in my own life as I continued on my path of Self-improvement.

So, I will tell you this - I can not tell you what it means, but I do pass these words onto you as a call to action for you to seek and remember who/what you are. And, as your life unfurls, may you come to discover what it means to Know Thyself in the deepest way possible. 

See, my therapist never made me feel like I had a disorder and that alone helped me not to internalize the negative self-limiting beliefs that also accompany being stigmatized. Throughout my spiritual journey, I took a different look at dissociation and this helped me to expand my perspective on mental health as a whole. In Eastern Philosophy such as Buddhism, ideas of Detachment are purported to be one of the ultimate goals on the path of Enlightenment. However, in my describing my disconnection, Western Psychology typecasted me with a problem. I've come to understand that this is merely a state that can lead to unfavorable outcomes or be beneficial depending on the origin of the dissociative state as well as the ability to manage it.

The key is to know how to facilitate the state which was taught to me through using grounding techniques such as EFT, breathwork, and additional modalities. 

With dissociation, a person very much feels outside of themselves. And, throughout my search for Spirituality being invoked, I also found myself looking for ways to experiment with and experience consciousness through different techniques, modalities, and mediums. My path took me to the depths of developing my extra-sensory perception and intuitive abilities. I started having very vivid dreams that correlated to my real life. More specifically, I'd have pre-cognitive dreams that ran along the lines of premonitions. I'd see people in dreams I'd never met before only to see them the next day in my real, waking life. 

This was all fascinating to me and spurred me to research Lucid Dreaming and Astral Projection phenomena. I'll admit that my initial interest in exploring this new domain was partially motivated by my lack of interest in life as I had known it. It's safe to say there was an element of escapism present. While it wasn't good to avoid managing my internal conflicts, I began going down rabbit holes to educate myself on these subjects as much as possible. And, soon, I began seeing results. 

I've been traversing out-of-body for 10 years now and have matured greatly in my motives for doing this practice as well as in the way in which I perform my methods/techniques. 

I've always entertained the idea of alternate realities since a kid, playing almost any virtual world game you can think of. Knowing that there are supersensible worlds and realities which exist beyond our current ability to perceive, I've dedicated more of my time to helping others have these experiences for themselves as well. I can now say I take pride in helping people with a wide variety of issues and offer 'unconventional' forms of healing for those seeking alternatives. 

In both the trauma endured and the lengthy process of getting treatment, I am grateful for all my experiences in life as they all served their purpose in helping me be where I am today - here to help those who also seek alternative options for their healing with the aim of accelerated self-improvement.

I know you're tired but come, this is the way. 

-Rumi .... and me
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